Etiquette Column Guides Brief Replies to Three Social Frictions

An etiquette columnist offered readers practical advice on handling three common social frictions: a curt online remark after a funeral reception, unpaid volunteer duties within a writers group, and a complaint about restaurant servers' greeting language.

One reader said he and his wife attended a funeral reception where he briefly spoke with a man he remembered from high school debate. Two days later the man sent a social media connection request and a message saying he had been "surfing" the reader's internet history and was sorry that the reader appeared to have had a frustrating career. The reader, who said his work had been challenging and rewarding and included public positions, declined to reply and asked whether a polite response was possible.

The columnist advised that a simple corrective statement would have been appropriate. "You could have said just that and then privately searched your internet history for hints of why he would have possibly thought otherwise," the columnist wrote, while also agreeing that the correspondent's decision to ignore the remark was justified by the other man's rudeness. The exchange highlights how casual online commentary can...