Advice on small courtesy tweaks for everyday encounters

An advice columnist offered guidance this week on three everyday encounters that readers said left them embarrassed or frustrated: an awkward attempt to speak with a congressman at a neighborhood coffeehouse, a tense encounter in a single-stall restroom after a theater performance, and the wording of a common out-of-office email message.

In the first letter, a regular coffeehouse patron said a member of Congress sat two tables away on a Saturday morning. The reader, who had seen the lawmaker there before, tried to raise a political issue but was cut off with a remark that the representative was "just here to eat something." The reader apologized and has since avoided returning to the shop for fear of appearing to stalk the politician. The columnist said public figures are not obliged to engage when they are off duty and that a brief compliment is usually acceptable, but added that a legislator has a duty to listen to constituents. The columnist described the representative's response as needlessly curt and suggested a more constructive reply could have been, "I want to hear your views, but this is not the time or place to have a discussion," followed by an invitation to visit...